Dear Felicity Megan Smoak,
Deep in my heart, I already knew you wouldn’t be responding
to me, and that’s okay (smiles).
But I didn’t want to leave you underappreciated, because in
some magical way, you have found a way to my heart as no one else did.
Every independent female character I’ve met so far in my
life had a journey unforgettable. And while some have taken up chapters,
mostly just scribbled notes in the margins.
You are the one I would dare to profess my pages. And I sincerely hope,
Oliver will not mind. (chuckles)
From the very beginning, you have never been ashamed of the
choices you made, whether it’s about choosing a different career option or be
it is living life on one’s terms.
Right from childhood till the time at MIT, you have stood
the test of time. You had carried this heavy weight of solitude and was only
devastated. But then also, you never for once gave up and moved forward like a
warrior. Felicity, you were wise beyond your years and have handled yourself in
the face of every adversity oh so gracefully!
I didn’t for once wished that all be the part of your story,
more than anyone. Unfortunately, it just wasn’t the right time.
There are no words to describe your pain. It just hurts like
anything. The sun doesn’t shine as brightly, life ceases to move, and your heart – it just doesn’t beat the same.
There’s this void, to everything.
But I had hoped your graduation day would have been
excellent, and thanks to heavens that you considered Queen Consolidated to begin anew.
Meeting Oliver was a real blessing, who’ve ventured down
a similar broken road.
For some time, your pain made me fear that you both wouldn’t
come closer, but faith led me to believe it otherwise.
You’ve journeyed so much and so far. And down the alley, growing deep into OTA, life has pulled you to some new faces and presented an entirely new perspective.
You have begun to open the doors to another potential relationship and in the process have finally started letting down your guard.
No wonder we’re so guarded with our feelings, careful about
our personal stories, and selective about who we trust. But at some point in time, we got to confide in that someone, don’t we? We have to let someone get close enough to see the real, authentic us.
Life would be lonely and unfulfilling without at least one person to have a meaningful connection with, someone to share our most intimate dreams and desires, safeguard our secrets, and support us when we voice our fears. And all I ever wanted that person was
to be Oliver Queen. Period.
Now you might have thought at times, “Maybe it’s me.
Maybe I don’t have the emotional capacity to feel that strongly for someone
And I also agree that the Past brings back the pain which
sort of scars you and that everything seems to be unrealistic, often
more when you’re part of a generation whose dating habits consist of swiping on
Do I find that disappointing? For sure.
But settling for
passable love isn’t your forte. God surely had something stored in for you.
And so, I’ve dreamed. That one day, you’ll take a glance at someone
and feel that connection inside once again. Someone with whom you’ll advance
together towards the moon.
Yes, Felicity, you
were destined to find someone to compliment you and conquer everything with
you. One who will stand by your side and love you no matter where this journey
And do you remember that one day, when you decided to visit CC
Jitters? Well, how could you not!
Allow me to draw a verbal image of how magnificent you
looked — draped in this beautiful outfit that contoured your body like a glove. You were looking stunning!
And while you were asking Iris, “Is this dress, ok?”. I just wanted to shout to you and say out loud, “you’re looking so beautiful,” and in an instant, you changed this nerdy IT guy’s life.
When you smiled countless times and looked my way (onscreen) – I can’t even
fathom to explain what that did to me.
You made my heart beat crazily, like never before.
And at the very moment, I knew I had to empty some room in
my mind for you to stay, stay forever.
I have spent months unraveling these vivid shades of you,
in an ever-so-subtle way.
I can only tell, you’ve occupied all my thoughts, been the constant inspiration in my journey, and have gotten incorporated into my own life ever since.
And I need you to understand that you have got my whole
attention now, more than anyone.
I admire your spark, this passion that drives you, and the dedication you put into everything that you love. I adore your
innocence and commend the respect you have for yourself. But what’s more
captivating beside all that is your SIMPLICITY!
And I couldn’t have asked for much since I met you.
There’s always have been more to this than meets the eye, behind all the geekiness and the glamour is a woman with worries and fears — someone who loves
and wishes for a future alongside her loved ones.
You’re not just an idea
Felicity. You’re this powerful emotion, something genuine. Thank you for having faith in me and trusting me enough to have allowed me to observe a significant development in your life.
It gives me an immense sense of pride to see you evolve into
something amazing. Being “Overwatch” wasn’t a natural choice, but you
proved that not every hero needs a mask or a cape. One can help immeasurably in
other ways too.
We came together at a time when you were in some way
vulnerable before you had reached your potential. To watch you grow there, to
watch you reach for the stars, is something I will never cease to appreciate.
I’m pretty sure that now you know, how you have made me feel
Why did I decide to put this out now?
Because deep down in my heart, I know that I might not be
seeing you in the finale, but I am truly blessed to have seen this version of
your inner beauty.
Thank you for helping me grow through you!
I pray that you grow only much stronger and never change
yourself in this uncalled exile.
I’m aware of what stands in your way, so purposefully,
you’ve kept a safe distance.
Finally, your story and the struggles you have been through
will always be my rock. I’m amazed to have learned so much from you, that you
can teach me lessons without ever actually knowing me.
I have had an absolute pleasure to learn about your
complexities, about your layers and your world. You have helped me to
understand myself and the world around me just by being you.
Maybe your story has more chapters, or perhaps this is the
end. Either way, there’s something you should know.
You’ve changed my life in unimaginable ways.
Your story is only so long, and you can only tell so much.
One thing is for sure, you’re there with me, after the last chapter, after the
final episode, and after the credits. You’re stuck with me for a long, long
time, my friend.
P.S. In some parallel universe, Oliver might still be with
you! Thank you so much to all the writers, authors, producers, and all the
unsung heroes that immortalized these characters. And I will be forever
indebted to Emily Bett Rickards for portraying Felicity.
2 thoughts on “A Letter to Felicity – By Andrew #Arrow #Fandom”
Reblogged this on ❝ L'ISOLA CHE NON C'É❞.
Wow. This was written very well! I like this a lot! Good job with showing how well you miss Felicity. Just remember, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! I will miss her SO MUCH!! Thank you for this.